Queen for a Queen
by Imaginistic
Summary: I was the president and leader of the free world in my old life, but now I am stuck inside the body of a character I thought to be fictional from a story I haven't read in ages. What's a leader to do? Why, lead of course! SI-OC as Krista/Historia. (Spoiler-Fic for Anime Onlies)
1. Chapter 1

My days always started out the same. I wake up to the sound of my alarm blaring at 5:00 am sharp, clean myself with the refreshing waters provided by the pipes of this oh so glorious house, dress in my expensive suits adorned with accessories that could feed a family for years to come, and then, I stand in front of a mirror.

"Yes!" I breathed out, "You are great, you are victorious, you are a queen!" My eyes bored relentlessly into my reflection. This silly mantra I start with every morning is the only thing that keeps me sane in my hectic life. "You were chosen by your people, now lead with your head on your shoulders and move forward!" I pointed a finger at myself for dramatic effect, it's something I've always done since I was a child, and now I continue to do so privately purely for the nostalgia (and well, I can't help but feel that it will bring me good luck on my endeavors. After all, I wouldn't be in my affluent position if it didn't work).

A knock erupted from the other side of the door. "Madam President! The speech starts in an hour, and we need to do a debriefing on the riots happening in Eastvale before then!" My assistant Claire breathes out as she stumbled into my room.

"Yes, yes." I waved impassively, "I'll be there in a minute." If my assistant could look even more disheveled than she already was then I managed to pass the test.

"But we need to move now! They already started setting up and-" Strands of her brown hair started to stick out more and more as she moved erratically. Oh dear, there she goes again on one of her panic-stricken rants. You know, I really need to send her on a month vacation to Tahiti one of these days. This job is wearing her thin more than me, and I'm the President!

My hand landed on her shoulder. "Okay, Okay! I get it. Let's go." I sighed out in defeat. I just wanted one more minute to myself, is that too much to ask? Well, sacrifices must be made for this job.

We glided through the hallways as we rushed to our destination. Claire handed me a piece of paper, "These are some pointers on where you walk and stand while you are doing your speech." I nodded along accordingly. Her brows furrowed a little. "As for the riots, I'm afraid they are getting even rowdier. The town of Eastvale really opposes your standing as president, especially after that passionate speech by one of their leaders that occurred last week."

A frown draped itself across my face. Them again? I need to do something to ensure that, that group can be snuffed out for good. Or at the very least be made to be seen as weak and worthless like they once were. You would think me being president would be a sign that times of an equal and just society is upon the horizon, but sadly that isn't the case. Instead the country was swallowed into a sea of tension and anger as groups opposing of my kind would want nothing more than to see my demise. In the eyes of the ignorant, my race was seen as volatile and uncouth which would be unfit for diplomatic ventures. My gender seen as weak, frail and indecisive when the time came to make important powerful decisions that can change the very nature of this country at the drop of the hat. So, of course the combination of these two categories created a ginormous storm of doubt and worry as a person not of the status-quo can strike fear into the hearts of the unknown.

But no matter, I would show them that I can do this, I had to. Not just for myself, but for others like me if they wish to walk the same path as I do. My thoughts came to a halt as I bumped into something warm and comfortable. "Oh!" A familiar honeyed voice greeted me in surprise. I glanced up, and my eyes met his forest green ones. I couldn't control the smile that tugged at my lips when I saw his face. "Morning," He greeted softly, an adoring glint peaking from his eyes. My arms wrapped around him tightly as I push myself into his stomach.

"Morning," I hummed back, causing vibrations to bounce throughout his stomach. A pair of warm, soft lips kissed my forehead, and I couldn't control the giggles that escaped from my throat. He always did have that affect on me. "Where were you last night?" I asked out of curiosity.

"My team and I found a breakthrough with the transportation project. I was so excited that I had to see it through myself. Next thing I know, it was morning-sorry about that by the way." He caressed my shoulders as he always does when he felt he did wrong. I de-attached myself from him and shook my head.

"You don't need to apologize, look at who you are talking to," I gestured to myself, "I can barely remember a moment where I actually went to bed on time!" Laughter escaped my mouth.

He chuckled. "Yeah, but you're the president! That's at least a valid excuse. I'm just the lucky guy married to her."

Nicolas was always humble about the things he's done in his life. Before we met, his career was in civil engineering where he worked with his home city council on how to make sure the infrastructure was sufficient for safe use. He was always passionate about the safety of transportation, which is why he rallied and fundraised as much as he could to make sure the structures in his city stayed updated and safe. With the government always being lackluster when it came to the maintenance of these things, he wanted to lobby to make sure that at least others around the country can have a chance to find safe and cheaper alternatives to travel to places. I happened to be there at one of his attempts because I was interning the same governor at the time, he had to go through me to set up an appointment, and the rest is history.

"AHEM! Hello! Big speech coming up in," Claire looked at her watch, "30 MINUTES?! We need to go now!" She pushed me ahead.

"See you after?" I turned my head towards him.

"Yeah, but I think I'll be asleep by then." He sheepishly rubbed his hand behind his head. "Sorry about missing your speech."

"No, it's fine! I'll have plenty more of those I can bore you with later on. Besides," my eyes glanced over to his dark circles, "take as much rest as you need. We can do something together when you wake up. I got the rest of the day off after all!"

Even from a distance I could see how his eyes lit up at the news. "Really? I look forward to it!" I smiled as we wave to each other goodbye. I can't wait to snuggle with him later, it's his forte as I like to tease him with.

Claire and I walked through the doors to the backstage, it was just as hectic as it was on the way here as people scurry everywhere to make sure the settings are prepared. I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to speak in front of millions of spectators. I saw through the cameras how many reporters are there, and as expected, a full house.

I could feel my palms sweat a little. "Nervous?" A deep voice infiltrated my thoughts. I didn't need to look up to know who was talking to me. If the voice wasn't a give-away, then surely his distinct clone smell of mountains and rivers would.

"A little." I answered meekly. Samuel was my bodyguard and he always knew how to put me at ease. I always looked up to him as an older, wiser brother who wants the best for me in this world. His combat experience in the military and familiarity of dire situations made him calm and composed for times like these.

He straightened my suit a little. "You'll do great, as you always do." He reassured.

"Yeah!" An energetic voice cut in. "Just like the time you accidently tripped on your way out!"

My eyes narrowed. "It was one time!"

"One time? Hm, I seem to recall it happening at least two more thereafter." He grinned cheekily at me.

I playfully pushed him. "Stop! I need to concentrate, Ryan." Even as I tried to be serious, I couldn't help but let a small smile slip through.

His Cheshire grin increased. "Oh, don't think I didn't notice that little smile of yours miss pres."

"Ryan!" A squeaky voice called out. "Stop messing with the pres. and get moving! We have to make sure all the attendees have their pamphlets." She rushed ahead of us and dragged him along by his sleeves.

"Aw come on Joyce! Can't I have a little fun before I get back to work?" He pouted.

She placed her fingers between her forehead. "Ryan, I swear! You act like a child sometimes!"

His dirty blonde hair ruffled up as he beamed mischievously. "What can I say? I look good for my age."

Joyce huffed and rolled her eyes. She turned around and shot me a small smile. "Good luck on your speech!"

"Thank you." I called out in return. She nodded her head before going back to lecture Ryan. I knew she wasn't serious as she enjoyed his presence as much as the rest of us did.

"Still nervous?" Samuel asked with a knowing glint in his eyes.

"Huh," I realized, "I guess not." Ryan must have distracted me to ease my nerves a little. A warm feeling pooled in my chest. Everyone around me cares so much. I don't know where I would be without them. I feel so blessed to know that there is a strong team behind me. When I see everyone around me trying their best for me, I feel as if I have all the courage in the world at my disposal.

When Claire came to signal that it was time for me to start, there was no hesitation in my steps. After all, we'll be together as long as my term lasts to share memories together. Maybe even thereafter to reconcile our old times at a reunion later down the line. With their support behind me, I'll do my best as the leader of the country and raise everyone to their expectations.

I exited the stage to be greeted with a mass of shouting reporters. They threw question after question at me. All at once, jumbling together to sound like an indecipherable assault on my ears. I was losing my patience. "ENOUGH!" I boomed. They auditorium was silenced. You could hear a pin drop. My demeanor shifted from intimidating to friendly. "Welcome my fellow citizens! Thank you for coming to listen to my speech on the Eastvale Riot situations, and I know you all have questions, but please be patient until the end of my speech." I finished smoothly.

The crowd seemed content with my information and complied.

"Now about the situation of the riots," I began, "I understand that there is dissatisfaction of my standing as president, and I'm sorry if my status upsets you." My fists clenched the podium. "But I REFUSE to back down. I will not give up no matter what the cost, because I can prove to you that no matter what the circumstance of what I am, I am qualified to be your leader, and others that voted for me will be able to enjoy the trust and potential that they saw in me at first glance. So, I ask of you, to give me a chance. I promise you-no, I SWEAR on my name and title as president that you will not regret my inauguration!"

Some people in the crowd looked pleased, others disgruntled.

"I will devote my heart and soul to this country, and once you see how dedicated I am, how hard-working I'll be, there won't be a single soul that will look back and ever regret voting me in office. This I promise you!"

I heard a twitter of approvals.

But before I could continue my speech, there was an interruption.

"But we don't want you in office period." A voice slithered to the front. I looked up and turned to the side. A man wearing a black and red attire, wearing **that** sign, stalked towards me. He's one of them.

"How did you get here, past security?" I questioned. Where was Samuel!? I hope he is alright.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that." He chuckled darkly. "Especially since, you won't be around any longer to gather an answer." He reached into his dark coat, and pulled out a silver gun.

Screams were heard and gasps filtered throughout the air.

But I was frozen. I felt helpless as he pointed the gun to me, his wide-toothed smile growing more deranged as he took in my fear.

"Please," I begged. "Have mercy!"

He could only smirk in response.

A bang ricocheted throughout the auditorium, and the last thing I remember was a painful burst in my head, and wails of agony.

…..

 _No_

…..

 _No!_

 _I can't die!_

 _Not like this!_

 _There is still so much to do!_

 _So many people to help!_

 _I can't fail them…_

 _I CAN'T!_

 _Samuel, Ryan, Joyce, Claire…._

 _I can't leave you guys!_

 _Nicolas!_

 _There was still one thing I needed to tell you!_

 _NICOLAS!_


	2. Chapter 2

What happened? Where am I? There was nothing but darkness around me, endlessly sucking me in as I drifted further and further away. From where? From who? I'm not sure. Let's see, what was I doing last time? I was giving a speech….

That's it! The speech!

I remember now!

A man from one of the supremacy groups managed to sneak in and assassinate me!

That means…

 **I really am dead.**

If I had a body right now, I would be crying.

I wish I..

I wish I had another chance.

I failed everyone.

I'll never see my loved ones again.

I never got to tell Nicolas..

That I was..

That we were…

A bright light interrupted my plight. And soon, everything around me was white and blinding. The air, brittle and cold, was icing my frail skin. Skin? I felt myself touching a surface. Yes, skin indeed. My vision went from an absence of light, to a messy blur. I might not be able to see clearly, but at least I was seeing something.

I heard a flurry of voices. I could barely make out what they were saying.

" _Someone get the…"_

" _I need a… over here!"_

I could feel the air around me shift as a cause of their flittering. I tried to move my body to see if I could figure out where I was, but I noticed something strange. My arms were short. Like really short, and my legs seemed to share the same fate. Am I in a new body? Reincarnation? That can't be..

A pair of giant arms corrected that thought as it picked me up. It turned out to be a woman, I figured, as she held me close to her chest.

"Aww," she cooed. "Don't you want to say hi to your new daughter?" I guess she was talking to my mother.

"No," A cold voice spat out, "Get that _thing_ away from me!" Well, I could tell that I was born a wanted child. Yeesh.

I felt the arms holding me droop slightly. At least this lady cared. A thought flashed through my head.

 _If I had a body right now, I would be crying._

And so, as a way to express my sorrow and to get back at my so-called mother to a lesser extent. I started to wail.

The body holding me tensed. "See madam? You're hurting her feelings."

I heard a low growl coming from the left of me. "I don't care, now get that child out of here!"

The breath from the woman's sigh brushed against my forehead and I was swiftly taken away from my mother.

I was placed in a crib in a room where the walls were green? At least, I think it's green. My vision is still blurry.

A warm hand caressed my cheek. "Don't worry," she whispered affectionately. "She'll come around, I'm sure of it."

Umm, no. I doubt it. I've heard of post-partum depression, but I think this is something beyond that. That women hates me. Hopefully, I won't have to interact with her much. I'm not in the mood to live through an abusive childhood.

And on the topic of parenting, where was my father? Is that why I was welcomed with such disdain in this world? Was I the product of a one-night stand? Or an unrequited love, perhaps? Maybe even a…

No, let's not go there.

If I was so unwanted, then why not abort me? Is the technology and laws of where I was born strict and outdated? Was I born in a third-world country? Or a fascist regime? I hate being left in the dark like this! But the only thing I can do is wait and observe my surroundings to the best of my abilities.

How much time has passed since I died? Hopefully not too much, because then, maybe I can find Nicolas and the others and…

And what?

Walk up to them out of the blue and say, "Hey! You remember that chick you loved that was killed? Well guess what? I'm her!" Not only would they look at me like I was crazy, but they would also see me as a disgusting imposter trying to emotionally manipulate them for fame or supernatural powers like those women who claim to be the reincarnation of Anne Frank.

How about just meeting them "coincidentally" and start a natural relationship with them?

But that's too painful for me. I don't think I could handle pretending everything is normal and fine when it's not. I'd be too busy mourning what it once was and try to recreate some fucked-up version of our past relationship.

Then…should I just let them go?

A pang struck my chest.

I-

The door struck open before I could finish my thoughts. "Time for your feeding!" She sing-songs while holding up a bottle.

It was that lady again, I'm guessing she is my official nanny or the mid-wife who is temporarily taking care of me until further notice.

Hmm, that's strange. I wonder why my mother decided to give birth in the house instead of going to a hospital? You would think someone who was giving birth to an unwanted child would do it in the hospital full of drugs to dull the pain and get it over with, but she didn't. Is this just the custom of the country I am in? I figured I was born in Germany with all the German being spoken about. In my old life, I spoke up to five languages to prepare for my long-standing goal of being president. It's a good thing this skill can aid me somewhat in this new life.

But that makes this even more confusing. Germany was considered a progressive country when it came to reproductive rights and birth control, so why didn't she abort me? And furthermore, their hospitals are far from being dangerous to check into.

I didn't get my answer until months later when the nanny, whose named I learned was Annika, decided to take me for a stroll for the first time in my new life.

After being cooped up for so long with nothing to do besides eat, sleep, and use the bathroom, a rush of excitement and wonder shot through my body. I wonder what the world outside is for all this time, I wonder what technology has improved since my untimely departure, I wonder what the current world events are as of now, and I wonder what the state of my country is after I left.

I might not get all the answers, but I should be able to gather something from all of the conversations around me.

We exited through the door and I saw a carriage waiting for me. A carriage? Isn't that a bit old fashioned? I took a look at my surroundings, we were on a farm. Oh, that explains it I guess. Maybe they just wanted to take the horses out for a spin. It could also explain why I was born in the house. It must have been too far to go to a hospital.

But something is off, I can feel it. I survey the area and realized something. No, I must be off. It can't be.

But the dread in my stomach settled in as we passed by more and more carriages. I understand that I'm in a rural area, but shouldn't there be at least a smidgen of modern technology? No phones, no tractors, no anything?

Was I born in an Amish community? It could explain why my mother hated me, maybe I was born out of an unwanted polygamous marriage? But wait, Amish communities haven't existed in Europe for ages.

Then, that meant that I was reincarnated to the past!

My blood froze. The past? This is literally the worst discovery I have ever came across! I can't live in the past! I'm used to technology and luxurious and convenient foods at my disposal. Now the only thing I'll be able to eat is unsalted rotten food. I won't be able to enjoy the past time of movies or using a computer. I could get sick and die at the simplicity of a splinter. Oh god, what if I was born in the age of the bubonic plaque!?

Annika must have noticed that I was upset. She cradled me and her arms and rocked me for a bit. "Now, now," she comforted, "There is nothing scary about a carriage ride, we're almost into town. Isn't this exciting?"

No, this isn't exciting! This is a nightmare!

My infant body couldn't handle this much stress and I started to cry again.

"Aww," Annika cooed, "It's alright darling." But her assurances just made me cry harder.

I just, I just can't take it anymore! I'll never see Nicolas and other loved ones again, I'll never be the leader that I worked so hard for. I bet back at home, I'll just be remembered as the president that was assassinated on her first term, along with the other rejects. I can't even grow up in the comforts of a time period I'm used to.

It hasn't even been a year yet and I already want to give up on life. I feel so lost and broken, and the tears that fall on my cheeks can't even begin to adequately express the inner turmoil I'm suffering through.

"Look! We're into town!" Annika pulled me up so I could see it. The buildings looked oddly familiar, with the orange-tan tiles sitting on top of the white buildings. Where could I have seen it before?

I was still crying when we pulled up to the town to get out, and my wails were attracting attention of the folks around us.

Their reactions were what you expected of a baby crying in public, some disgruntled muttering under their breath, others basking in nostalgia of when their children were babies, and the absolute adoration that usually befall on those of the child-loving persuasion.

"Busy day huh, Annika." An older man wearing tan pants with a brown vest walked towards us.

Annika breamed. "Oh, you know how it is, Jim. It's her first time out and she's a little nervous." I shifted a little as I felt his gaze on me.

"Well, she certainly is too pretty to be crying this much." I could feel the warmth from his smile.

Annika giggled. "Yeah, she really is beautiful. She'll grow up to be a stunner."

"What's her name?" I quieted down my wails a little. I never knew what my name was in this life. I never really cared that much as I had my own, but I was a little curious.

She smiled down with adoration in her eyes. "Her name is Historia."

My wails were silenced instantly.

 **What?**

That can't be, it's just a coincidence.

"What's wrong?" Annika tensed up at my sudden silence. Jim leaned in a little to see if he could figure it out.

I ignored them as I heard another conversation passing by.

" _Yeah, so she went to Wall Rose to see if they were selling the product there."_

" _That's ridiculous, if it isn't here then why would it be there?"_

No

A group of children were running past us playing a game.

" _Rawr! You better run, I'm gonna eat you!"_ A boy in a white blouse stomped.

" _Aaaah!"_ The other children screamed and giggled. _"It's a Titan!"_

 **No**

Two men in a familiar uniform walked by us.

" _I can't believe that crazy bastard joined the Scouting Legion!"_

" _I know, he got a death wish or something?"_

I felt cold and clammy. Annika was starting to panic.

"I think she's sick. Look how pale she has gotten." Jim grunted in agreement.

"You go on ahead back, I'll send a doctor on over." Annika nodded in thanks and took us back on the carriage.

It was deathly silent, the ride back. Annika was too worried about me to do anything. Her fretting kept her frozen and stiff.

As for me, I felt like my life was over even before it begun.

If I thought simply living in the past was a nightmare…

Then this was unadulterated hell.


	3. Chapter 3

**ATTENTION READERS! I just wanted to warn you, from here on out I will be referencing what is going on in the manga as of now, as the character is from the future of our world where the story has been finished for ages. So, if you are only going by the anime, I suggest you wait until the story is completely animated or read the manga to catch up, otherwise you WILL be spoiled in this chapter and coming chapters.**

"I just don't understand what's wrong with her!" Annika cried to the doctor. "One minute she was crying about something, and the next she was completely silent and fell into a paralyzed shock!"

The doctor nodded his head while taking notes.

"I assumed it was because she was nervous about going outside for the first time, but was I mistaken? Could it have been a sickness? I feel like such a failure!" She sobbed into her hands.

He glanced at me.

I was deathly still, and my skin was cold as ice. My complexion pale as a ghost.

"I see. Why don't we take this conversation elsewhere away from prying ears? Babies can understand conversation before they speak after all."

Annika's eyes widened. "Oh dear! I had no idea! Come, let's talk in the kitchen over tea." She pushed the doctor out of the room, but not before shooting me another worrying glance.

The closed door did not deter my endless state of despair.

Oh god, I was in the Attack on Titan universe.

The universe where there are man-eating monsters just outside these walls.

Where those very same monsters just happened to be persecuted people under a discriminatory Hitler-like regime.

Where there will be a full-scale war with other countries for the power of titans.

Powers, which I can control all at the drop of the hat depending on circumstances, because I was a mother-fucking princess riddled with special magic voodoo blood.

Blood that is so rare, that they'll want to turn me into a breeding machine.

I felt myself shake.

I-I want out!

Fuck this!

Was I that bad in my past life? I don't want to grow up through this shit-hole! I'd rather go back to being dead.

My breathing became shallow.

I'm going to die a painful death and live a life of abject misery!

The sound of the door creaking grabbed my attention.

A flicker of brown hair swished past my eyes, and the next thing I knew…

 **She** was standing there.

With a pillow in her hand and death in her eyes.

The misery, fear, and confusion that emulated from her was that evident to me as she stared down.

She was waiting this whole time, I realized.

The perfect time to strike.

She overheard the doctor coming over due to my "sickness" and figured this was the right time to kill me.

And really, it was the perfect plan.

If she managed to smother me with that pillow, Annika and the doctor will believe the cause to come from my sudden sickness, and not from foul play within the household.

It was cold-blooded and ruthless.

But honestly?

I was okay with that.

I'd rather die being smothered by a pillow than by being eaten or killed or childbirth or whatever god-awful punishment awaits in this hell.

I stared straight back at her, my eyes steel in resolve.

She flinched back a little.

Come on, do it mother.

Kill me.

Please.

The pillow started to shake and her face was scrunching up. Beads of sweat were rolling off of her forehead.

Come on, dammit!

Do it!

Her arms were quaking at this point, as she lowered the pillow further and further towards me.

That's right!

Come on!

A ghost of a whimper fell from her lips.

Don't pussy out now!

Come on, come on!

DO IT!

A choked sob snapped me out of it.

I looked up and saw her.

A flood of tears bursts from her eyes, and her lips quivered.

"Why...," she questioned. "Why can't I do it?!"

"I hate you, I hate you so much! And yet...," she shook, "And yet…I can't do it!"

She sank to the floor, the pillow that was to be my murder weapon converted to a lifeline as she clutched it with all her might. Her sobs echoed throughout the room, and for the first time, I had no idea what to think of the situation.

The door to my room bursts opened. "Madam!" Annika shouted. "What are you doing here? You should be in your room resting!" The doctor was standing behind her, viewing this situation with a curious glint in his eyes.

Annika pulled my mother up by the arms and lead her away. "You know you have to go out tonight, so I don't know why…" Her statement made my mother sob harder. Annika seemed to have an innate talent for saying the wrong thing.

I was listening to the cries of my mother fade away when I realized I was being watched. I turned my head a little and was unnerved to discover the doctor's eyes were focusing on me. He had this calculating tint in his gaze, and it was making me uncomfortable.

I tried my best to glare at him as to say, "What?" in an intimidating form. Obviously, it had little results since I was just a baby.

He chuckled softly as if he knew what I was trying to do, and began to slowly pace around the room. The only thing that was heard throughout the space was the sound of his shoes scuffing against the wooded floor.

"You know…" he started, "It's alright to be afraid."

Huh?

What is he going on about? Why is he talking to me like I can understand him perfectly? Doesn't he see me as a naïve and absent-minded baby?

"I was afraid too, of the mission I was given, of the people I left behind, of the failures I encompassed. I was afraid to move on and start-over in a new life. I felt like I didn't deserve it." A swirl of regret and sadness was present in his eyes.

"But," he continued, "the moment I began to move forward, I soon realized just how important it is to live. To continue onward towards your goal, to make sure that those who were sacrificed would not be in vain."

W-Why is he telling me all this? Who was this man?

"And more importantly," his eyes zeroed in on me, never waning, "to love again."

A flurry of emotions passed through me at those words.

The first was **anger**.

Hot white rage flashed through me, sizzling my skin in its wake.

How dare this man, tell me to move on as if nothing happened!

Just because he was heartless enough to get over his lost loved ones within a small frame of time, doesn't mean I'm like that!

Next **fear**.

I paled a little at the thought.

What if I do end up like that? Happy, when I shouldn't be, when I don't deserve to be? Would I just be forgetting the memories of my old life? Would it mean that Nicolas and the others really were just expendable companions within my vicinity? Can I even be happy when this world was created for the sole purpose of exploiting the misery and suffering of others for entertainment?

Then **sadness**.

My chest felt heavy, burdened with the weight of my guilt and yearning.

I-I just want everything to go back to normal. I don't want to be here! I miss everyone, and I want to die again! I don't want to become a pawn in some political war! So why, at his words…

I felt myself being lifted up and I was face to face with him. The compassion and kindness glowing in his pale green eyes blanketed me.

…do I feel **hope**?

I felt his thumb wipe away my tears. Huh. I didn't realize I was crying.

He pulled me further towards him until our foreheads were touching. A weird feeling bubbled in my gut.

Why is he doing this? It seems strange to-

A flash of memories divulged my mind.

I saw everything.

The past, present, future.

What is and what isn't

What will be and what could be.

My mind was always a steady blank canvas, never changing. Yet the colors, undaunted, would go ahead and embed into it as if painting a wall. They were fearless, a force to be reckoned with, as they would never stop until their mission was complete. No matter what the affect was on me.

The emotions were overwhelming, turning my tears into a reliever of the process.

God, was I sick of crying.

And then just like that, it stopped.

My mind blank once again, the colors fading, but its presence still there.

I looked at him, a mixture of curiosity and cautiousness etched onto my features.

What…was that?

"You'll know when the time comes." He answered, a knowing smile placed across his face.

He carefully placed me back in the crib. The silence between us serene and tranquil.

The footsteps of Annika disrupted it. "Sorry about the interruption, Doctor Jaeger."

Jaeger!?

"It's no problem, Miss Annika," he turned to me, "Now about Historia's predicament. I would suggest to introduce her slowly to the outside world by having her take her afternoon naps on the porch when the weather is agreeable."

Annika nodded along. "I understand. Is there anything else?"

He bent over the crib, ruffling my hair a bit. "Give her as much time as she needs to be comfortable and she'll adjust accordingly." A small smile was to been seen.

A breath of relief escaped from Annika. "Oh, thank goodness you happened to be in town. Even from out here I've heard nothing but great things about you."

He placed his glasses on. "I was about to take the next ferry back, but when I heard little Historia here was sick, I couldn't help but think of my own little one back at home."

Now we both know that is some pure bullshit. But, I say and do nothing on the matter.

"Oh!" Annika was delighted. "Tell me more about him! I only know that he is a little boy."

He put his hat and coat on. "How about on the way to the door? I'm sure I've already worried my wife by the sudden delay."

"Oh, yes of course!" Annika hurriedly agreed. "I wouldn't want to keep her waiting. Now tell me, what color are his eyes..." The conversation faded away slowly from my ears.

A breath I hadn't realize I was holding released. Okay, okay, that was a thing. Whatever that was, it happened. But the question is why it happened?

I think I have a figure on how. I'm guessing using the paths he somehow saw future memories involving me and figured this was a way to help me.

But, help me with what? The story? The plot? Does he want me to change things?

I don't really recall Grisha meeting Historia in the original story, and if he had, I figured he would have killed her along with the rest of her blood-related relatives. The luck of her survival was the fact that she was a cast aside love-child, I'm not sure if Grisha was even aware of her existence then or if he did but just didn't know where she was located.

But now, I guess this technically fits into the story. I mean, original Historia wouldn't have remembered this meeting since she was a baby at the time. Clearly, my presence has already started to change the plot, but hopefully not too much. I wouldn't want to traverse this world completely blind and-

Since when was I suddenly okay with being here and alive? I thought I wanted to go back to being dead, so why…

A flash of green entered my mind.

Tch, figures.

I don't know what exactly that man did, but my sudden resolve to live was thanks to him. Now, whether that is something to be thankful for is up to me ultimately.

I turned to the window outside, taking in the fresh air blowing in and basking in the rays of the sun.

To live.

To move onward.

…To love again?

Can I really do those things, should I do those things?

It still hurts, all of those things. The pain still lingered within me.

But…

A green leaf was gently carried by the wind into the room and softly landed on me.

It can't hurt to try.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few weeks have become a blur. I know that I said that I would try, but I'm hesitant to take my first step. Figuratively, I mean. I already took my physical first step a couple of months back.

It was a sight to behold. I was placed on the floor with some wooden blocks to keep me busy, while Annika was making lunch in the kitchen. One of the blocks rolled away when I bumped it while trying to stretch on accident.

It rolled over to the other side of the room.

" _Shit_." I thought. I had to go get it.

As I crawled half-way towards there, I grew tired. I figured it was about time that I finally took my first steps. I used a table near me to steady my balance as I grabbed onto it to lift myself up.

With the table as my support, I shuffled across the room to get closer to my goal. I was almost there too, getting closer and closer, the object near within my reach when a voice startled me.

"Historia!" Annika exclaimed, delight lacing her tone. "You're walking!"

I couldn't help but scowl at the interruption. The break of my concentration made me accidently let go of the table and I hastened to try and regain my balance. I stumbled a bit as I tried to prevent myself from falling down.

After a few seconds of wobbling, I managed to remain standing without the support of the table. I realized at this point that I could try walking on my own.

With small, shaking steps, I began to walk. A bit unstable, but all the same.

A tinkle of sniffling reached my ears. My eyes were directed to the crying state of Annika. Her hands gripped the plaid handkerchief, increasing the hold as her face scrunches up to move along the salty tears falling from her eyes.

"I can't believe," she sniffled again, "that you're growing up so fast!" She rushed over to me, and held me in a constricted hug as if her life depended on it.

My breath huffed in annoyance. Damn, I was just about to grab the block too.

Her warmth wrapped around my small body, its heat cocooning me in a protective blanket of affection.

…Well, I guess it's not a big deal.

I snuggled into her.

Besides, she can get it for me later.

This and an onset of similar events finally led me to be able to move independently on my own over the course of a couple of months.

My second birthday was nearing, and I was finally going to attempt to speak a full sentence on my own. Typically, babies start speaking at around 18 months. I wanted to emulate that format, but I figured that waiting it out might be beneficial for me in the end. If not, then who knows what changes my sudden advancement may bring?

To be honest, this all stems from that "conversation" with Dr. Jaeger. I know that the interaction didn't happen in the original story. Because of that I'm scared I won't have a frame of reference to go on. Of course, one could argue that I didn't exactly have that in my original life. But I didn't have man-eating titans either.

It all balances out I'm sure.

I glanced at the window outside, immersing in the cool wind caressing my face and the scent of pine leaves wafting in the air. Annika was busy at the moment doing laundry.

Perfect time to practice my speech.

I sat up straighter on the windowsill. Okay, let's start with the basics: vowels. I cleared my throat, and took a deep breath.

The sounds that emitted from my first attempt were embarrassing. There was a bit of slurring and lack of volume control, but after a few tries my voice sounded crisper and more discernable. Once I've had thirty minutes of practice, I took a breather.

The wooden floors creaked outside my door. It looks like I stopped practice just in time. The door squeaked open gradually to reveal Annika with a basket of laundry.

"I'm back!" she sang. She flounced to the corner of the room and placed the basket on a chair. "Did you have fun playing by yourself?" Her eyes gleamed.

I nodded my head yes. Her smile grew wider, "I'm glad to know that, especially since I've heard some interesting noises outside the window."

I froze.

She ran up to the crib and squeezed the living daylights out of me. "Oh Historia! My precious baby is growing up!" she gushed. My cheeks squished against her stomach. I tried to pry her off of me, but I was still too small to have any impact. She finally eased out of her bear hug and placed me back down.

"Come on Historia," she said with tears in her eyes, "It's time to eat." She lifted me out of the crib and off we went.

When January finally came, I was able to speak in full sentences. Annika, as usual, was ecstatic of my progress and made sure to let me know every two minutes. My birthday came swiftly on the fifteenth, and while the other workers or my mother couldn't give a damn, Annika tried to go all out as usual.

"Make a wish, Historia!" she cheered as she placed the cake in front of me. I sat back and pondered for a bit; what should I wish for? A flurry of scenes and events flashed through my mind. There were so many things that could go wrong-that **will** go wrong. How would I be able to survive this?

"Historia?" Annika questioned.

I blinked back to reality and gaze at the candle glowing in front of me. Having decided on a wish, I sat up and prepared to blow the candle out.

" _I wish I had a happy ending._ " The anxiety of the upcoming events and the urge to run away seemed to disappear along with the fire.

(x)

The next two years were essentially laid back, but something devastating happened on my fourth birthday.

"I think it's time we let you go." The brows of my mother's forehead creased and the lines around her mouth were still.

Annika stiffened, her eyes as big as plates. "W-What?" My mother glanced at me, her indifference betrayed by the ice that glazed her demeanor.

"Historia is old enough to take care of herself now. Your services aren't needed anymore." Old enough? But I'm only four years old!

Annika shared the same sentiment. "But Madam! Historia is still a small child! She was only in diapers not too long ago!"

The voice of my mother grew dead. "And now she's not. Please pack up your belongings and leave the premises as soon as possible. I recommended a job for you in Wall Rose, the carriage is waiting outside."

Annika flung herself at my mother's feet, tears streaming down her face as she grabbed the ends of her dress. "But Madam, please! I beg of you! Don't do this!"

My mother glowered down at her and yanked her hands off her dress. She turned her back to her, "I want you out of here now," leaving Annika in a sobbing puddle of tears.

Before she left the room, she paused. "As for you, prepare to start working tomorrow. You'll need to earn your keep if you want to stay around." I didn't need to see her face to know she was addressing me.

The sobs of Annika reached my ears and I turned back to her. My eyes drank in her crumpled form bowing to the empty door frame that once held my mother. I walked up to her and placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Nanna," my meek voice called out, "please stop crying. I'll be alright." For the first time since I've been born, Annika didn't respond. My hand slackened off her shoulder, the unfamiliar reaction leaving me aimless. The room quieted, the only sounds to be heard hailed from Annika's sniffling. The uneasiness of the situation swirled into my stomach like a rampant typhoon. My eyes fell down to her once more, observing the devastation she omitted with her entire being. I felt my resolve return once again.

"Nanna," my tone firmer, "look at me." When she ignored me again, I took my small hands and pulled her face up to meet mine. Her brown eyes were swollen, engorged from the salty tears endlessly flowing from her sockets.

"Historia…" she croaked, "Are you sure you'll be fine without me?" My hands trembled from her quivering. My icy-blue eyes bore into her honey-brown ones, the curve of my mouth slighted. Her eyes widened. Before I could answer her, she stood up with an abrupt motion.

I opened my mouth. "Nanna I-" she swished past me, her footsteps fading down the hallway. A shuffling of items and furniture muffled through the walls. She came back out, bags packed, her face blank. She marched to the door with rapid steps.

"Nanna?"

She halted. I quickened my pace, stopping short of when my hand brushed against the green fabric of her dress. "Nanna, are you-"

"Who are you?" she turned to me, her eyes dull and lifeless.

I felt my stomach twist. "Nanna, it's me, Historia."

Her face stilled.

"The girl you've been taking care of for the last four years…?"

Her facial expression remained the same.

"The girl-"

"I don't have time for this nonsense." she interrupted. She picked up her bags and strode out through the door.

"Wait, Nanna!" I grabbed onto her dress, "Please don't leave! I'll miss you!"

Just like my mother a few moments ago she paused, "Will you?" Her eyes bore into mine, I couldn't see myself in her orb's reflection.

I hesitated under her gaze. "O-Of course I will, I've always loved you."

Her eyes darkened. "Liar." She pushed me down. "You don't love, you don't love anyone."

A bead of sweat formed at the top of my forehead. "T-That's not true! I've loved before!"

She smirked, "That's the thing isn't it? You've loved before, but not now." It morphed into a demented Cheshire grin. "Not ever."

The bead of sweat left a trail. "No! You're wrong!"

It tilted its head. "Then why didn't you come to the funeral? To MY funeral."

I averted my eyes. "I, Because I-"

"Because you don't love me." She was back, her tone flat. Her skin paler than last time. "You never did, even after all the things I've done for you."

I shook my head, "You're wrong!"

"You keep repeating yourself, like a broken clock." she sneered. "You hide behind the excuse of loosing everyone like you lost your husband and friends, but you know it's more than that."

The statement jolted my body. "W-What do you mean?"

She leaned in, her face overshadowed by the edge of her bangs. The corners of her mouth twisted to supplement the feral grin she now sported. "I mean," she breathed, the hot air scalding against my neck, "That you are a worthless creature, destined to be alone."

The unshed tears in my eyes spilled over. "I'm not-you're wrong!" I cried.

She only chuckled, her body enlarging, intensifying until she turned into the thing I feared most: a titan.

Her chuckling spiraled into full-blown laughter, its demonic soundwaves searing my body.

It hurts.

Everything hurts.

She glanced down at me, her expression no longer amused. "I suppose you're not completely worthless." she droned. "You can become my meal."

Her hands stooped down to pick me up. I was pulled closer to her menacing smile, her drool dripping down in malicious anticipation. Her mouth opened inch by inch, as if she was teasing me of our fated positions. That no matter how much time she took, our roles were final. My body was tossed in, gyrating down the inky black darkness. Never to see the light of day again.

(x)

I woke up, my body drenched in sweat. My eyes glanced to the window outside only to see the sky still covered in darkness.

My mouth opened up to call on instinct, but my memories override the action.

Right, Annika's not here.

My chest ached.

She'll never be again.


	5. Chapter 5

The days were mostly quiet. No one around me payed me so much as a peep in my direction. The adjected loneliness was wearing me thin, gradually draining my energy and will to live. To alleviate this feeling somewhat, I volunteered to help out with the chores around the farm. My days mostly consisted of me waking up at the crack of dawn, sluggish with sleep lolling in my eyes, and working from sun-up until sun-down, all to occupy my mind from wandering in places that should never be explored.

Sweat trailed down the side of my face as I dumped another square of hay. Feeling slightly sore, I sat on it for a few moments of rest. It was hot, the barn stuffy from the heat of the afternoon sun. My eyes, idle, scanned the area as I fanned myself. There was never much to look at, nothing but wooden walls, and an entrance to see the azure sky guide the lazy clouds along its path. It was serene at first, picturesque even, but after countless days of basically entertaining myself, serene became monotonous.

I sighed. What should I do after this? My mind flickered through all the tasks I've done so far. I glanced out the window, the view of the stable in my peripheral. Maybe I could tend to the horses again…?

No, Maria said she would do that today. Grab some firewood for tonight? Ah, but I'd have to wait for Agnes to chop up the wood and she's not back from the market yet. I cradled my chin between the valley of my hands, their sweat moistening my cheeks. Then how about-

"Oh, there you are!" Maria rushed in, carrying a small package. She dangled it in front of me. "I need you to deliver this to Mrs. Becker." She plopped the package in my hands and turned to scurry out of the doorway.

My head tilted. "What is it?" The sound of my voice jerked Maria to a halt. Her body stilled, eyes sliding back to me with cautiousness encircling in them.

"Some cooking utensils. It's a thank-you gift for her showing us that pie recipe the other day." Her body was still facing the exit, muscles tense. "You enjoyed it…didn't you?"

My tongue relived the taste of blueberry bursting in my mouth, its acidic juices enveloping my taste buds with tangy zest. The irrevocable trace of cream lingering thereafter, the smooth flavor simultaneously performing with the golden crust as they serenade me through a crunch. Their unique, delectable parts harmonized to create a heavenly dish. I can still remember the delightful scent wafting to my nose, enticing me to partake in a bite that changed my life for the better.

My mouth developed into a soft curve. "Yeah…I did."

Maria's posture relaxed, but not by much. She seemed on edge, alert. At what? I'm not too sure myself, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the isolation from my mother. "Well, with that being said," she began, her eyes trailing back to the door, "You know what to do. Be back before sundown." At her final directions, she took her cue and scampered out of the barn.

I glanced down at the package in my hand, eyebrows raised.

Well, at least I found something to do.

(X)

Mud squished out from under my boots as I followed along the path to Mrs. Becker's house. Despite the sunny temperament now, it had rained overnight. Such is the way of summer weather, I guess. There were puddles this morning, but they definitely have dried up by now. Especially, in this heat. I could feel the slickness of my sweat merge my shirt to my back.

Ugh, gross.

As I wiped off my latest drop of sweat, I saw the house pop up in the distance. Thank god! I can take refuge from the sun now! I hastened my pace to get out of the blistering heat as soon as possible. Though in all honesty, it wasn't that much better inside. The technological state of this country made it so that there wasn't any air conditioning inside of buildings. Your best options were to open windows and hope for the best or to stay around bodies of water to cool off.

" _Still_ ," I thought, wiping away another trail of sweat, " _Anything is better than staying directly under the sun._ " The shape of the house grew bigger and bigger as I moved closer towards it. It was a moderately sized cabin hunched between two giant oak trees. Flashes of personality riddled the cabin when I was within a closer perimeter. An example being a wind chime hung up on the porch right next to a wooden rocking chair. A huge pile of wood was strewn about the side of the house, and an axe sat unused in the corner; cobwebs were covering both the axe and the wall. I guess she's too old to chop wood now.

When I reached the front porch, the steps groaned under my feet, making my presence well known to those nearby. I paused for a bit, hoping that she heard so that I didn't have to knock. Unfortunately, the door stayed closed. Of course. I finished my walk up the steps and knocked on the door.

Nothing.

I tried again three more times, but to no avail. I was just about to give up and go home when I heard the sound of shuffling through one of the windows. I inched towards the noise, the sound becoming more discernable the closer I got. I stopped at the edge of the window, hesitation taking form in my gut. Should I really infringe on someone's privacy? Or should I turn around and go home? Before I could weigh my options, a crash ended up answering for me.

"Oh dear!" a voice exclaimed through the window. "That was the fifth one this week." I peeked through the window to find a brown plate cropped into little pieces all over the floor. The woman cleaning up the mess was all but shaggy in her appearance. Her dark grey hair was thin and straw-like, spiraling out of control from under her bandana. Her dress was a damp brown color, reminding me of the mud puddles I slogged in to get here. The glasses on her face had a crack down the middle on the left side. I guess she couldn't afford new ones. Or maybe they're just not ready yet at the shop. A startled gasp drew me out of my thoughts. She was looking right at me. Oh right, a stranger looking into someone's house was not only rude, but creepy.

Shit.

"Aww, aren't you a little doll, love?" she cooed.

That's right, I'm not a grown woman in her thirties; I'm a little girl. A beautiful one at that.

That little fact keeps slipping by me somehow.

"Are you Mrs. Becker?" I asked as I smiled cheekily. Might as well put these looks to use and turn up the charm. Maybe she even has some of that pie leftover.

She lowered her body to my level. "Of course, that's me love, and who might you be?"

I curtsied a little. "My name is Historia. My household wanted to thank you for the pie with this gift."

Her face brightened at the info. "Aw, how delightful! Thank you so much!" She handled the utensils with the utmost precision and care. "I'll be sure to treasure these."

I clasped my hands together in mock enthusiasm. "That makes Historia happy!"

I swore, I saw hearts form into her eyes. "Aren't you a cutie! Did you enjoy the pie, little one?"

"Historia thought the pie was yummy!" I beamed, notably not in mock enthusiasm. That pie was the best thing I've ever had, both in this life and the previous one.

Mrs. Becker placed her hand on her chest, her eyes sparkling with joy. "That makes me so happy to hear! I have some more treats inside; would you like some?"

Drool was practically escaping from my mouth. "Yes, please!"

I walked home with a belly full of treats and still some to spare! I cradled the cookies in my handkerchief like it was the holy grail itself. These next few days are going to be sweeter; I can tell.

Then as if God had come down from heaven itself to laugh at me, something flew through the air and hit my hand, causing my cookies to be knocked out of my grasp.

 _Splat_

There they were. My precious babies laid to ruin in the disgusting mud. It was as if my trials of trudging all the way there were for naught; a mockery of my efforts. Anger set fire to my veins, my face turning red the more I stared at what was lost.

My hope. My joy. My little ounce of happiness in this constantly dreary hellpit I call a life. Gone for good.

"Who dare," I growled, "WHO DARES!?"

Smarmy laughter trickled out from the bushes. Recognition hit me as I listened. It was bitch-tits and the motley crew of rejects. Those assholes who like to throw rocks at me while I worked.

"Good afternoon, Bitchstoria," Fuckface #1 said as he bounced a rock on his palm with ease, "we saw you walking by your lonesome self and decided to remedy that by graciously making you our target practice."

Fuckface #2 sauntered over towards my fallen brethren and smirked. "Aw, did we hit the baby's cookies? Our bad."

"Yeah," Fuckface #3 chimed in, "we meant to hit you!"

That was their cue to throw me into the mud pile. Pain flooded my shoulder as I flopped down hard in the mud, the sludge covering every crevice of my body. Their irritating snickers ate away at my dignity, leaving no room for patience.

Ugh, for fuck's sakes!

"I swear," I gritted out, "one day you will all bow down to me, and regret what you have done for the rest of your life."

That caused their snickering to deform into howling laughter.

"Us," #1 cackled while holding his stomach, "to you!"

"Get real!"

"Is she as crazy as she is ugly!?"

"Laugh all you want," I rebutted, "but all you lot will ever amount to will be stable hands, while I'll be living it up like a queen."

The laughter stopped instantly at that.

Before I realized what was happening, a kick was administered to my abdomen from the lovely fuckface #1.

"What did you say, bitch?" he spat as he yanked my muddied hair.

#2 stomped on my stomach. "I think she volunteered for some more target practice."

"Well what are we waiting for?" supplied #3, "Let's give it to her then."

I wish I could say that I was strong and fierce, and that I put up a fight that made them respect me. But Historia's body is small and frail.

Poor me never stood a chance.

After lying in pain for about two hours, I finally willed myself to limp back to the farm.

Everybody watched my dirty and injured form enter the barn, but made no move to help me. In fact, they just went on back to ignoring me. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. This world can eat my ass.

I lugged myself onto the haystack for rest before I got up to ravage the medical supply cabinet. Why oh why did that have to be located in the house? No one had the foresight to have a spare set of supplies in the barn? Goddamnit!

Although the pain still lingered, it slowly ebbed away into dull aches as I slowed my breathing. The silence of the barn lulled me into dreamless state of rest. Though strangely enough, I felt as if someone was there with me, humming away at a distinctly familiar tune.

Where have I heard it before?

Strays of sunlight filtered through the barn doors and managed to hit my eyes. I awoke with a groan. The mud had dried on my skin and hair, making me feel all gross and sticky. I need a bath. Pushing myself off the haystack made me notice something about myself. There were bandages on my person. Someone snuck into the barn last night and tended to me while I was unconscious. As sweet as that sounds on the surface level, I can't help but feel weary. What benefit is there to tending to my wounds? And who was it?

Something is amiss on this farm.

Or was it someone?


End file.
